The UK gave up on cricket a long time ago, but sadly this so called sport still persists in the Empire’s former colonies. Its a terribly elitist and clubby sport. For the British army officers posted to the middle of just about every forever back during the days of the Empire, cricket served a vital purpose. They could form their little cliques and clubs and spend whole -days- weeks just passing the time away. It can be argued that there is nothing like a mind numbingly boring and totally pointless activity to while away the times, and cricket fitted the bill so well that someone would have had to invent it during the days of the Empire if it hadn’t already existed.
Every now and then one of them would trundle up to the pitch to chuck a ball, and a guy from the other team would try to hit it. This was all secondary; they could have been throwing bats and trying to hit them with a ball, it would have made no difference. The main idea was not going bonkers and having something to talk about, and cricket did that brilliantly. When the natives came to stare and whispered amongst themselves about the mad englishmen, the englishmen could scoff at them for not understanding the game of cricket.
Cricket involved a set of rules and morals which were to be followed at all costs – else one could be cast out from the clique. ( _ed: sounds similar to those teenage gangs one hears about these days_ ). There were quite a lot of them, along with a ton of silly names for just about everything else. Half the fielding positions start of with ‘Silly’ something or the other – evidently even back then someone realized how absurd the whole thing was.
In today’s day and age, where no one has the time to read a book or do even a quarter of the things they have to do any particular week, cricket is a throwback to an age and time long dead and buried.
Some of the Major Problems with Cricket:
* There are twenty two men playing. At any given point only two of them are actually engaged in the proceedings. The rest are just standing around. That hardly qualifies it as a sport.
* It’s excruciatingly slow and takes way too much time.
* There’s not much physical exercise in cricket. See the first point. Despite cricket being Pakistan’s most popular sport (its a lazy sport for a lazier nation) the Pakistan Armed forces have banned cricket. Standing around on a field all day doesn’t make one fit. The dictionary definition of ‘sport’ includes the words ‘physical exertion’ for a reason. People who play actual sports gain from it. You can tell a soccer player – he’s bound to be fit. Cricket players no matter how much they play never get fit. Just look at the Pakistan team. The only reason the Australian team is fit because they play other sports to get fit.
* It’s not a spectator sport. Watching a normal game of cricket is as exciting as watching paint dry. The “Pakistan India Cricket Series”:http://ko.offroadpakistan.com/pakistan/2004_03/india_pakistan_cricket_series.html was exciting, but that excitement had nothing to do with cricket.
* It is the same damn thing over and over again. That’s true of many sports, but with cricket even more so. The slowness of the proceedings makes it that much more agonizing.
* Cricket is not democratic. The better players enjoy themselves a lot more – as they bat longer without getting out, and also bowl more overs. The other players are shit out of luck. Other sports like basketball and soccer are a lot more democratic – even the worst player on the team is involved in the game. In street cricket at least half the team is just the support cast, and basically does nothing at all the entire match.
* The rules are mind numbingly complex. Even professional cricket players after a lifetime of playing don’t fully understand them. See the Pakistan cricket team once again for many shining examples of this.
* There’s a whole bunch of other reasons which I’ll post later.
_not even cricket fans can justify cricket. Ask one about the virtues of cricket and they’ll be clean bowled._