The CIA and the ISI sitting in a tree

The CIA and the ISI have a long history, but it seems they’re once again sharing the same playhouse:

The C.I.A. and its Pakistani counterpart, the Directorate of Inter-Services Intelligence, have a long and often tormented relationship. […] Yet interviews in recent days show how they are working together on tactical operations, and how far the C.I.A. has extended its extraordinary secret war beyond the mountainous tribal belt and deep into Pakistan‘s sprawling cities.

[…] Successful missions sometimes end with American and Pakistani spies toasting one another with Johnnie Walker Blue Label whisky, a gift from the C.I.A.

At least they get the whiskey right! I wonder if the CIA pulls out higher or lower quality whiskies to signal their happiness with the mission. Of course, on the flip side the ISI is pulling out militants on a sliding scale as well. A hypothetical conversation between spy v.s spy:

ISI: Dude, just a red label! But the other day you pulled out a blue label!

CIA: Yeah, but that day you not only refused to arrest the militant, but gave him a couple of grenades and a bus ticket home.

ISI: Oh right, but that wasn’t a militant, that was a freedom fighter. But for a blue label, we could talk…

CIA: I have a better idea, what if we plant some cases of blue label whiskey in your next arms shipment to the Taliban? And once they crack open the bottles we attack! The drunken bastards won’t even know what hit them!

ISI: Are you trying to get me to say we send arms to the Taliban? Good try though! But send over a couple container loads of whiskey and lets see what we can work out… but we gotta attack before they drink too much of the goods…

CIA: Deal! We can’t afford to buy that much whiskey, since the American govt. refuses to buy anything but bombs for Aghanistan, but perhaps we can get the Israeli’s to ship it over or something, it’ll be just like old times.

ISI: Just make sure there are no fucking Stars of David on the crates! Zia would roll over in his grave if he found out about that one.

To be continued…

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