Send your ads to Awab, the happy new year edition

My friend Awab is running a free advertisment campaign to highlight stuff needing highlighting, so here’s my pitch for all the issues hiding in obscure dark corners all over Pakistan, and much deserving of recognition:
How about an ad for all those lonely groups of brigadiers and colonels toiling away in obscurity hatching plan after plan, I mean only the lucky few like Benazir’s plotters end up on the front page of the Tribune, I’m sure the rest could do with publicity too!
Another ad for all those poor much maligned Zionist agents who get blasted and blamed for everything on every tv show but never get the chance to air their side of the story… they have stories to tell, I’m sure.
The victims of blasphemy need an ad to, for while we hear all out the blasphemer, and the mobs marching the streets baying for blood, the direct victim, God, or God’s representative on earth who suffered from the blasphemy in the first place is never heard from. Some wags might point out that God has already spoken sufficiently on the matter when God said “Allah is the only judge…”, but as Coca Cola has proven, you can never have too much advertising.
The makers of sucide bombs, both the psychological Dr Strangeloves and the physical bomb makers need an ad too – we only hear about the results   And effective as they are they must really want to market their wares too, for every efficient market is predated on the matching of buyers to sellers..
The omnipresent they – you know who they are but do you really know who they are or what they do? Sure they’re responsible for everything, but could certainly do with some Advertising. Why, we don’t know, for they work in mysterious ways, but we want to see their ads just cause.
The Karachi Electric Supply Company (KESC) desperately needs a real ad campaign, separate from there current desperation campaign, which some might have confused for ads but is just an extension of their regular incompetence. They recently set out on the genius move of selling their wares to those who pay for them, a few centuries after Adam Smith popularized the idea, and could certainly do with some ads to celebrate this.
Talking of kesc, all those stealers of electricity need their own ad campaign, whether the chaudhrys of gujrat or the urban slums of Karachi to gather some sympathy for their colossal theft of other peoples money. One funds their mercedes and landcruiser addiction, the other their refrigerators so their food doesn’t spoil. On second thought, perhaps this should be two seperate ad campaigns…
We desperately need a ad campaign for the privatization commission of Pakistan, a honory one to celebrate them spending five times their actual budget on just ads this year, something which is hard for mere mortals to achieve, so rare that this just has to be celebrated.
Last but not least, in fact not even last but just so big that it’s hard for other ads to sneak past this one, the State Bank has to celebrating for going wild with their printing presses and the Finance Ministry for leading us to a FIFTEEN BILLION DOLLAR budget shortfall in a year where the whole world is sick of giving any more money to a country which promptly sends it back out to buy more arms or away to Afghanistan to fight those giving it money. 15 billion US dollars shortfall is so big, so big that we even need ads promoting books on the Weimar Germany period, Zimbabwe and the glory days of the Italian lira. It has been to long, and the world must be yearning for the good old days of hyper inflation… Good thing this country has no shortage of wheelbarrows to cart the coming deluge of money around.
I know this is all a tall order for two lonely blogs, but this is a country where tall orders rule the day,and rupee notes are soon to be stacked up to the sky – for a true bloggerati like Awab and compatriots it’s just a few tweets away.

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